The 2016 Vogue September Issue by the Numbers

Vogue September Issue by the numbers - Driving Master Danny

September - Summer's over, kids are back to school, mums are overtaking the entrances to the grocery store and Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte is secretly back. And so is the the nagging question of "Will I be able to hold the Vogue September Issue with one hand, or do I need to put my PSL down?" The answer to that is: Yes, it is one hand friendly this year. Somewhat.

The 2016 September Issue of Vogue has only 800 pages - a number they chose not to brag about by making it small and hiding it on the bottom of the cover. 

2016 September Issue by the Numbers
It is 1'' thick, just like last year (achieved by running a lot of ads on heavy stock to bulk up the issue)
Weighs 3 lbs (lost some weight)
Kendall Jenner's gracing the cover. Well, it's better than Beyoncé from last year. And her hair is dry. Groundbreaking.
577 pages of ads
2 ads for cigarettes
6 pages advertising NBC's Fall lineup
4 pages for a Dyson hairdryer. Yes, it does exist, and it looks like a wind tunnel got crossed with an electric back massager.
114 pages of ads before First page of Contents
671 pages before the First fashion editorial
720 pages before the articles
1 Kendall Jenner foldout, cleverly hidden inside a Dior lipstick ad featuring unrecognizable Natalie Portman
1 article on curvy models (not Plus, Curvy - that's as far as Anna will allow)
1 article on how the Pill is no longer good for you. Next year they should follow up with a guide to baby vomit-proof style.
Vogue's with Her by profiling Huma Abedin, Clinton's right hand (and politely glossing over Abedin's husband's Internet shenanigans). Of course, since it is a fashion magazine, they have to cover her fashion maturity from J Crew to Oscar de la Renta. 
Discover what a "slasher" (les slasheuses in French) is. The rest of us just call them "women". It's different than "multi-hyphenate". 
The 70s are back, flower-power rules again, and leopard discovered how to color its spots. Don't forget to over-accessorize, invest in a military coat, and grow a rooftop garden.

25 Steps to Becoming an American

Recently, I celebrated my 25 year anniversary of coming to America. I have lived here longer than in my birth country and I finally feel American. That feeling did not come easy nor was it immediate, in fact it took years to finally feel like I belonged here. When my childhood friends come for long visits and ask what it takes to finally feel like an American, I pour us a cup of tea (still) and share a long list. In honor of my 25 years, here's my Becoming an American list:
1. Learn English (seriously!)
2. Eat peanut butter.
3. Learn about 80s American pop culture
4. Watch football in the fall on Sundays. And Mondays. And Thursdays. And Saturdays.
5. And The Final Four in the spring.
6. Forget world geography.
7. Spend two years planning a trip to Disney World, don’t forget to create a binder full of coupons.
8. Learn every line to The Godfather and Goodfellas. Use them to make a point.
9. Stop asking why it’s “World Series” and “World Championships” when only one country is participating.
10. Celebrate Thanksgiving.
11. Never take a vacation.
12. Have a Starbucks cup permanently attached to your hand as you go about your day.
13. Wear a bra at all times and make sure the straps show so everyone can see that you do have a bar on.
14. Wear yoga pants all day long.
15. Never put ketchup on a hotdog.
16. Find the best spot to watch Fourth of July fireworks.
17. Mark your holidays with a Charlie Brown Special on TV.
18. Start your Christmas season in July.
19. Learn the Electric Slide so you can dance at weddings.
20. Get your news from Comedy Central.
21. Discover a great BBQ place.
22. Eat corn-on-the-cob.
23. Tailgate.
24. Go to a baseball game (and if you’re really brave, become a baseball parent)
25. Chant “USA!” at the top of your lungs during the Olympics.